Your boyfriend/girlfriend, like a notebook, should come with paper.

So a few days ago I went to lunch at a Boston Market and it was delicious. The meal and the company was delightful. I can say the company was a treat because I was with my dear friend Amy. Amy is in town from Vegas. She left me in Ohio to suffer through my romantic troubles alone but in doing so she bettered her quality of life and met someone that brings her a happiness previously unaware to her. I can forget my selfish pity party and forgive her. But in all sincerity, no matter what kind of mess I am in romantically Amy has a gift to explain to me my trouble and remind me that my affection should be directed to someone deserving of it.

As I swim in the misery pool that is my love life, Amy is dancing in the ballroom of romantic bliss. She has a man who treats her well and she is happy. I asked her what about her new man makes him such a stud. Before she responded I had to interject. I told her the first thing she says cannot be the words, " he is a nice guy." I don't know about you but I find it a little disturbing when someone, male or female is dating someone new and the first thing they can say about that individual is that they are "nice."

I find it silly, if you are with someone and happy that the first word you would use to describe them is "nice." I find it silly because I would hope the person you date is nice. It should come standard. Being nice should be a prerequisite. I would honestly hope that the person you are dating is nice. If anything an attraction should start with the other person being nice. As a man, I tend to think that women are attracted to assholes but that is not the purpose of this blog. I just think that when you describe the person you are dating, the one you are happy with, or the one you hope sticks around and can build a future with, that your description starts off with something more specific than "nice." If I ask you, who you are dating, I hope "nice" is not the first word used to describe them because I had already assumed such a thing or else why would you be romantically linked with that person. When you are dating someone, them being nice should come automatically, as if you were buying a notebook... it should come with paper.

Your relationship, like a notebook should come with paper. Yes, maybe I am saying that nice is to relationships as paper is to notebooks. Or maybe I am suggesting that when you are out and about looking for someone to fall for, think of that time you went out and bought your last notebook, the first thing you did was make sure it had paper.

Now, like notebooks there are plenty of fish out in the sea. There are notebooks with 100 pages, 200 pages, 80, 90, 150 and for some reason there are even notebooks with 138 pages. Not only can you judge how much paper or niceness you want in your notebook but you can determine the size of your notebook as well. Your notebook can be 5 x 7, 6 x 9, or 8.5 x 12. I swear these measurements are simply the size of notebooks not human anatomy. Notebooks come in all sizes and colors. Notebooks are available with subject dividers and subject dividers that perform a double duty as folders. College ruled, Legal ruled (what the fuck?), wide ruled or maybe graph paper? One subject, two, three, four or even five subject notebooks. Plastic cover or cardboard? Advanced wirebound, wirebound, or maybe you want your notebook bound with stitching or glue. Fuck, maybe you don't want your binding on the left side because you are left handed and care for your binding on the right or on top like a legal pad. Or maybe you are just looney enough to invest in as much paper you want and put it in a three ring binder. Notebooks for drawing or writing, for business or personal, for daily use or when the moment suits you... there is a notebook for everybody.

All I am saying is, if you want to be with someone they should be nice, like when you buy a notebook I hope it comes with paper. Your new romantic fascination may be nicer than your previous efforts but I hope your attraction to that person is based off the unique characteristics that can only exist in the eyes of the person you love. I hope you love that person because they understand your off beat sense of humor or because the pieces of gold and grey in their green eyes never stop surprising you. I hope you love that person because after you've had a bad day they know all you need is a kiss and a space in between their arms to find peace. I hope you are with that person because their smile is infectious. They push you, believe in you, and make the effort seem effortless. Or because the best vacation is the day you share in bed. I hope you love them because they love you for who you are and want to become, plus they will be with you for every moment of that journey. In truth, there are many reasons to like or love someone and I hope you are not settling for someone who is nice because any decent human being deserves that and much more. I am happy for my friend Amy who has found the person who makes her most happy and from what I hear, he comes with plenty of paper too.