Thank You R.E.M.

A couple of days ago R.E.M. announced that they were breaking up. That they were calling it a day as a band.

"A wise man once said--'the skill in attending a party is knowing when it's time to leave.' We built something extraordinary together. We did this thing. And now we're going to walk away from it... I hope our fans realize this wasn't an easy decision; but all things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way." Michael Stipe, from the band's website.

It was a bit of a sad day for me. Sure I was struggling with a cold on the day that the news broke which did not make the day easier. It was sad day for me to see one of my favorite bands say that they were no longer going to write, create, perform and distribute their talents, skills and message. Despite the sadness I understand. Thirty one years as a band does deserve a happy ending. Though I cannot make any proclamations on the state of the band at the current moment I can say that it is hard to deny their success and the scope of their reach over the past three decades.

I first got turned onto R.E.M. as a young teenager. Around the mid 90's when Automatic For The People was released. I didn't become a die hard fan until 1998 when they released their first album as a trio, Up. I was one of those teenage kids who found refuge in their brand of pop music.  I don't care if it has become cliche, something used in countless movie or television shows but "Everybody Hurts" is a very supporting and uplifting song. I have a lot of great memories and personal connections to friends, past girlfriends that won't talk to me and some past girlfriends that do, and family to R.E.M. music. One of my favorite rock moments was seeing the band perform on a surprisingly chilly night in southern Florida at the Langerado festival in March 2008.

As a teenagers, I hadn't heard much of the 80's R.E.M. other than some of the hits. There are people who believe that the band peaked with their very first album Murmur in 1982. I don't agree.  Since 1982, R.E.M. has released 15 albums not including greatest hits and live recordings. That is quite a workload, matched by few in rock history and matched by even fewer in American rock history.

While many other bands of their era faded out, broke up or lost relevance years and years ago, R.E.M. stayed afloat, took giant steps towards granduer, hit a couple of pitfalls, lost a founding band member to retirement on the sole condition the band would continue to make music without him, stumble and rise again. Other bands of the earlier 80's were defined by the 80's and that is not so with R.E.M.

The greatest achievement other than the millions and millions of record sales, the giant world tours, the awards and so on is that R.E.M. never stopped evolving as a band. It's hard to pin down a signature
R. E.M. sound. Sure there is an intricacy about how Mike Mills played bass and a unique subtlety to Peter Buck's guitar playing rarely found in American popular rock but it's hard to define their sound. Sure, it's hard to pin point the sound of their earlier records because they don't sound like country (but they do), they don't sound like 50's classic rock (but they do), they didn't sound like the current alternative rock of the era (probably a good thing), it wasn't old but it wasn't new, but it was refreshing and familiar all at the same time. It's hard to find a band in the 90's that changed and adapted their sound more than R.E.M., as the band refused to be defined by what was current or popular.  Probably the most signature thing about the band is Michael Stipe. As Eddie Vedder said about Michael Stipe during the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction, "he can be direct, he can be completely abstract, he can hit an emotion with pin point accuracy or he can be completely oblique and it all resonates." But other than his poetics, the most defining and underrated thing about Stipe was his voice. Though it may not be the prettiest voice it is a definitive one. The saddest thing about shows like American Idol is that a voice like his would never succeed and that is a great shame about the music industry today. A tragedy the music industry seems perfectly fine with neglecting.

R.E.M. has had an influence on bands like Nirvana, Radiohead, Pavement, the Counting Crows, Sheryl Crow and countless others. They also had a giant influence on me.

thank you R.E.M.

My Top 5 R.E.M. Albums
1. Automatic for the People
2. Document
3. Reckoning
4. Up
5. Murmur

Top 10 R.EM. Songs
1. The One I Love
2. Nightswimming
3. Orange Crush
4. Bang and Blame
5. (Don't Go Back To) Rockville
6. Walk Unafraid
7. Losing My Religion
8. Finest Worksong
9. Find the River
10. Accelerate

To the NFL, the Players and the Fans

What do you think about the NFL lockout?

If you are fan you probably think it is pretty dumb. I do. I find it hard to understand the plight of players playing a game, a physical game nonetheless but play a game for large sums of money and still want more. I have a hard time sympathizing with owners who make millions to produce a football team and a game yet still want more. There are countless others who wish they could be in their shoes and in this day in age, it is hard to look at any of this as other than greed.

I understand that is a very simplistic view of the lockout but what about the fans? How does a lockout help the fans? How do the players demanding more and the owners demanding more help the fans? Does it make ticket prices cheaper? No, not likely. Does it make the cost of a hot dog and beer cheaper? No, not likely. Does it make foam fingers or fan jerseys cheaper? No, not likely either. In fact none of this lockout nonsense will make anything about the game cheaper or more accessible.

A friend suggested that the lockout allows teams to put a better product on the field. A better product on the field is better for the fans. Sounds good but I don't think that is a guarantee. If an organization has more money to spend on the team that doesn't mean that money will be spent. If an owner has more money to spend on free agents that doesn't mean the right players will be chosen to field a better team. It seems like a very lofty argument.

In the end, the owners and players were willing to gamble with something that is not entirely theirs to play with... the game of football. Who adheres to our demands? Oh, wait, do we, the fans have demands? Unfortunately not. Unfortunately the fans are not united or unionized. We cannot stop watching the games. We cannot stop checking news reports to see whether or not the lockout is over. We cannot stop checking tweets from players about this or that, whether or not the tweet has any relevance to the situation. We cannot stop, even for a second to hate football, the league or the players. We are just glad to have it all back. Thank goodness the NFL has come back! Hooray for Sundays, the occasional Thursdays and Saturdays too! Hooray for fantasy football and tail gating. Hooray!

But again. What about the fans? Should the our admiration be restored simply by rewarding us with a full season of football? As the saying goes; Baseball is our past time but Football is our passion. Why can't we be passionate about the mistreatment of the owners and players towards the fans? Why can't the fans simply say no. Why can't we band together and remind them, the owners and the players that neither side is anything without the fans? How do we do this? I have no idea but I have suggestions that are outside the realm of reality. My favorite idea is simply boycotting a preseason game. Yeah, why not? No one likes preseason anyway. If the NFL makes $200-$250 million per week off the preseason, why not boycott a week to remind the NFL and all associated that without the fans the league is nothing.

I think the owners, players and league has forgotten that notion but at the same rate the fans have forgotten to stand up for themselves. When we look back at all of this, it will be a crisis averted moment and no one will ask how anything about how the game was made better for the people who buy the tickets, the popcorn, ball caps, paint the caravans in team colors, cheer their teams for generations and generations, and love the game of football.

Thanks U2.

Imagine you want to go to a show. You spend almost 2 hours in traffic trying to get to the stadium. You park for more money than the usual baseball game that typically occurs in the stadium. You talk to scalpers who have nothing cheaper than a $150 ticket. The cheapest ticket sold for this concert was 1/3 that price. You meet scalper after scalper with tickets ranging from $150 - $400. You cannot afford that much money.

One guy who looked like Roger Federer plus an extra fifty pounds tries to sell you a ticket for $250. He doesn't believe that you cannot afford the ticket because after all, according to him, you, look like Tom Cruise. (Feel free to check out Me, Tom Cruise and My Mother's Vindication) Unfortunately being a third rate Tom Cruise doesn't pay you anything. Apparently looking like a fourth rate Roger Federer doesn't pay either.

Imagine, After a while, you meet a guy in a powder blue polo shirt looking for not just one ticket but four! You chat about previous shows you've seen and how crazy some of the scalpers are for the high prices they are trying to pass as legit. Every now and then, the two of you find yourself at the same gate with looks of desperation and bewilderment.

You walk around the park to kill some time, searching for hope and a little luck. You talk to the rock gods and ask for a little help and inspiration. It's been two hours of waiting and no luck. With hope fleeting you find yourself back at the main entrance at the ticket booth but no luck. Then a small crowd emerges at the main entrance. Packed like packing peanuts they are shoving to get inside. You see your powder blue polo wearing friend inside the stadium and it hits you... SOMEONE IS GIVING OUT GENERAL ADMISSION TICKETS TO THE SHOW!!!!!

You get in for free and get to stand 200 feet away from your favorite band.

That was last night. It was awesome. How did it happen? I don't know. Were the rock gods listening? Did they relay a message to Bono, the Edge, Adam and Larry in which they were told of my sadness and dismay thus commanding someone to get the stranded into the show? Probably not but it's fun to think about it that way. Most likely a radio station was giving away extra tickets or their was more room available in the general admission area than expected so someone suggested that we get another 50 or so people in the stadium so they can spend more money. I'll stick to the myth that is currently bouncing around in my head. The myth that makes the night seem a bit more magical and me a bit closer to the band.

The show was amazing. I can talk at lengths about how great the show was or how wonderful it was to see my favorite band play songs I've never heard them play before. It's always great to see a band for the 6th time and not get tired of them, the show or their music. I wish that number could be higher than 6 but U2 tickets rarely come cheap.

It was certainly a night I won't forget. Thanks rock gods. Thanks U2.


me at the end of the show trying to look cool.

A Trip to Hawaii. A Trip to Pearl Harbor

Hello

Recently I took a small family vacation to Hawaii. It is actually the third time I have been to Hawaii. During each of my visits I have made sure to spend some time at the historical monument, Pearl Harbor.

If you know American history, World War II history, or just good old World History then you know the importance of Pearl Harbor, the bombing on December 7, 1941 and the effect it had on history since.

Today Pearl Harbor is a national memorial. Over 4 million people visit the island of O'ahu yearly and it is hard not to imagine a large portion of those people visiting the historical site, national monument and burial ground.

When visiting, it is hard to imagine that in such a beautiful place could host such a horrific event. In the serene blue skies and the sun soaked Hawaii, in a violent act of war, over 2400 Americans lost their lives. You cannot forget the several hundred that were injured as well as the Japanese soldiers that lost their lives either.

As I visit Pearl Harbor I think or have a moment of thought in which I feel that the worst thing about Pearl Harbor wasn't the attack but that it is so far away from everything. The attack on Pearl Harbor is one of the most tragic events of the 20th century yet it occurred on island over 2300 miles away from the continental US and almost 4000 miles away from Japan. It is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean removed from much of the world. At the time of the attack, Hawaii was not even a state in the US. There is a physical distance, a certain disassociation because it was not a state and as time passes, the worst thing that could happen is that we forget what occurred and how the attack changed history.

The terrorist attack on the US on September 11 occurred not only in one of the biggest cities in the world but in modern travel, a short airplane ride away from most Americans. It also occurred on our morning news programs and in our high speed internet culture. Pearl Harbor isn't next door. You cannot drive to Hawaii and it is not a quick plane ride from anywhere. In 1941 newspapers were still the dominant news force and you could still see news reel footage before the feature at your local movie theater. The times have changed.

I guess what I am simply saying is that it is a shame more people don't and/or can't visit Pearl Harbor. It is a powerful reminder of the dangers, past and present in our world. During my last visit it is hard to not hope for an end to senseless violence and that one day peace will exist across the world.

Thank you to the brave men and women who fight honorably for their country and for freedom. May we all find peace one day.

A Death Deserved and A New Day

Osama Bin Ladin is dead.

A face of evil is dead. A face. Yet there are countless faces of evil that run rampant across our towns, cities, states, countries and globe.

I am every bit so happy that Bin Ladin is dead. I am proud and honored by the men and women who have sacrificed their lives to bring us to this moment. It is a bold and selfless act committed by soldiers and those caught in between that allowed for this moment to occur. I am very happy to know some soldiers who have shown this bravery and very proud to call them friends.

Yet I give pause. A moment to reflect. Is it possible to think that the killing of one man ends it all? Is it naive to think that by killing one we can live in peace? World War I was the war to end all wars and that storyline never came to pass. How many wars must be fought for all of us to finally learn? When does the hatred and greed that breeds war end?

I am happy that his death brings closure to so many but yet it does little to stop the hate that circles this world. I fear it will only create more hate.

Justice has been done. It has been the will of two Presidential administrations, intelligence networks, brave soldiers and the patience of American people that made this happen. Over three thousand American troops gave their lives to this cause with many more suffer physical and mental pains. We cannot forget the Afghan army soldiers and civilians who have also fought and lived and died through this tumultuous time. To forget them is to dishonor them.

I simply and naively hope that this is a step towards better times. Tolerance, acceptance, understanding, education and unity must be something more than cliched slogans and fantasies. There is a natural conflict, a philosophical argument... if you kill 1 to save the lives of many would you do it? Killing Osama Bin Laden has taken the lives of many and my only hope is that no more lives are lost because of this blind hatred, unwillingness to accept others, cruel notions of pride and maniacal terrorists ambitions.



Call me naive but I think we all want to live in a safer and better world.

May the powers that be bless us all.

Why? Paul Reiser... Why?

Why ? Paul Reiser... Why?

From 1992-1999 you were the creator, producer and star of your own hit show on NBC called Mad About You. It was a charming little show about marriage and family. It was the kind of show you didn't want to like but secretly did, about a marriage you never want to have but might not mind having because they oozed happiness. Just kidding, not trying to be a hater. I enjoyed the show. I found it charming and if I had a marriage like the two leads then I might find normalcy. Of course finding the girl, getting married and all that should probably come first. Either way, it was a cute, at times, very smart and a well done show.

It's other claim to fame was Helen Hunt. Hunt got bigger than Reiser in almost every way for about 5 years. She was huge. She won an Oscar and a bunch of Emmys. She was doing big budget movies and staring in little indie adventures and so forth. The show eventually ended and so did their huge careers. Hunt still does movies and guest stars in the occasional TV spots but Reiser has done little since the show ended in '99.

Reiser has only starred in a couple of films since the show ended and half of those were made for TV. Not knocking it but the guy has been in entertainment for 30 years. He has been around the block. He has been a part of some great television, so you might think film roles could have come a little easier but they didn't.

Reiser is unfortunately not a great actor and now, he comes back to TV starring in a show where he plays himself. He is taking the Larry David formula from Curb Your Enthusiasm and trying to make it his own with The Paul Reiser Show. A better title might not hurt.

The first episode was kind of painful. It's hard to see a smart and charming Reiser create a show to satisfy his need for relevance. Even in the very beginning of the first episode he explains that he is very satisfied with his life but he is not yet dead and is looking for what comes next. My suggestion, stay home, kick the camera out and be a family man. I know it has only been one episode but even at that you stooped low enough to get Larry David on your show and get him to playfully suggest that you, Reiser, should do a show similar to that of Curb Your Enthusiasm. What kind of television is that? It's bad television! I know NBC is desperate but come on!

Yes, there were two clever lines in the show but that doesn't save it. This idea is as bad as Seinfeld's Marriage Ref show and that got cancelled after only 10 episodes. I again, stress the need for a better title. A better idea wouldn't hurt either. Don't do this to yourself Reiser. You are better than this.

But wait, it's only been 1 episode. It could get better. What makes Larry David's show work is that it is a parody of celebrity, as well as Hollywood, and that David is such a horrible guy. The bad stuff that happens to Larry David is sad but also deserving and propels the show forward. This show has too much sincerity to be satire and Reiser is such a nice guy and good family man that the biggest problem he has is finding a job. That really is a sad sack of a problem when you don't really need a job. Do you think he needs a job, when he lives in a in a giant California home and Mad About You is in syndication somewhere, all the time? Mmm sweet delicious royalties. I don't think it's a big problem. Hard sell when so many people have so much less that need, I mean need a job.

TV strikes out again!

The Greatest American Band ?

Who is it?

well it it certainly isn't...

The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, the Who, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, the Clash, The Cure or Black Sabbath because those bands are English. Other English bands include the Kinks, Cream, the Police, the Smiths, Radiohead and a slew of others. A slew of others.

It's not Rush (Canada). It's not U2 (Ireland). It's not AC/DC (Australia). Even half of Fleetwood Mac is British. Queen is British and so is Coldplay.

So who is America's greatest band?

Let us talk about what it means to be "great" first. You have to have the albums, the concert tours, the live performances at festivals and at award shows, consistency, longevity are also a plus. You have to influence music and by that, not just how it sounds but how it looks and how the listener thinks about music. Greatness is not just one or two things but a multitude of things. One thing that does not matter at all, Grammy Awards. The Grammy Awards have no part here. Let's begin.

There are many candidates. Let us start by getting rid of a few.

Automatically disqualified

Van Halen - 3 (count them and rumored to be looking for #4) lead singers, each with different styles and sounds. Not that I don't enjoy them but I think we need more consistency.

Nirvana - Like one week of hot sex, the career was not long enough to say greatest of all time. The one that got away. Sadly I know, plus it is my belief that they would have become as irrelevant as Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden and countless others that emerged from the grunge era.

Guns N' Roses - in 20 plus years of rocking and various band formations there just isn't enough music to support the argument. Appetite for Destruction does kick serious ass, just sayin'.

The Allman Brothers, Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Doors all faced the loss of a vital key member to their groups and for the sake of this argument, they cannot be considered for the top spot.

Run-DMC - Along with Jam Master Jay (hell yes, two turn tables count as an instrument, therefore, band!) they were fabulous throughout the 80's but the greatness didn't last long.

Tough Calls

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Now on guitarist #4, do the Peppers really have enough consistency over a 20 plus year career to be considered the greatest? Great band they are but easier to list great songs over great albums.

The Ramones - another band with rotating members. One of the founders of punk rock but come on, come on. I'd say easily one of the most important American bands but not the greatest.

Velvet Underground - A similar thing could be said about this band. Easily one of the most important American bands but not the greatest. Underground, art, alternative music would not exist without this band.

The Grateful Dead - This is tough. They have the following, the years deep in the trenches but any band that is defined by their live shows rather than their recordings is simply not going to cut it. I tend to think their best recordings were of them recording Dylan. Sorry.

Parliament/Funkadelic - This is just a confusing group but failure to recognize them is simply criminal. Two separate groups but the same with shifting members once guided by the genius that was/is George Clinton. Not unlike the Ramones or the Velvet Underground, this group is vastly important and influential but cannot be considered the greatest.

Beastie Boys - It's hard to believe that in 25 years these guys only have only like 8 albums to build the argument, one of those being a heavily ignored instrumental album. Not to mention that the band itself ignores much of it's early material.

Absolute No's. As in, Not Going To Happen.

The Eagles - No. Not bad stuff but you've written the same song over and over again since 1971.

Aerosmith - No. Not bad stuff but you've written the same song over and over again since 1972.

Kiss - No. Not bad stuff but you've written the same song over and over again since 1973.

I won't entertain arguments for Bon Jovi or Journey. I just won't.

So with all that said who can it be??????????

Metallica - Sure they've rotated bassists once, twice or thrice but the 80's and early 90's were pretty awesome. And they attacked Napster which they should have done. No that is not a typo. They should have attacked Napster.


R.E.M. - Sure they lost their drummer in the late 90's because he had a stroke on tour and then chose to become a farmer, this leading the band into a 10 year funk of mediocre recordings. They have recently relocated their swagger and are now 30 years strong with an undeniable influence on American pop rock.

Sly and the Family Stone - Easily one of the most important acts of the 60's and 70's with the records to prove it and legendary live shows to bolster the myths and legends.

Pearl Jam - Is anything of theirs as good as the first 3 albums? I think irrelevance hit them a long time ago but fans believe that the band is still recording their best material. I have yet to be swayed by that argument or the actual recordings.

The Beach Boys - Sure, they have rotating members and a whole lot of confusion about who owns the rights to the name "the Beach Boys" but let's face it, they were one of two bands to be just as important as the Beatles in the 60's (the other being the Rolling Stones). At that time the Beach Boys were America's best counter attack against the Brit Invasion.

Sonic Youth - One of the best bands to get so little recognition. I even almost forgot about them in the process of writing this blog. Heavily influential. You cannot spell alternative rock music without Sonic Youth but it is hard to put them on the list when the average Joe or Jane doesn't know who they are.

I don't know.... Who is America's Greatest Band? I'd love to throw in Prince and the Revolution or Bruce Springsteen and the E. Street Band but I am weary to place bands fronted by a musical geniuses who would have been good if not great with or without the band. Talking heads don't have the body of work and neither do the Replacements or the Pixies.

It's also sad that I really can't think of any band that has come out post 1998 on this list. The Strokes? Forget about it! It's been all down hill since their debut. The Arcade Fire is fabulous but they're Canadian.

Wait a second! There is a band, you might have forgotten but you can catch them late night 5 nights a week on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, The Roots!



Why not? The Roots have been recording music since the early 90's and have been consistently good throughout. Maybe they don't get the consideration because they do hip hop and that is just stupid. It is stupid to disrespect them because of their genre. After all those guys rock. Don't believe me then just check them out live sometime.

Who is the Greatest American Band? I don't know.

Why not throw in the Miles Davis Quintet. Oh but wait, which one? Could it be the first that features players like John Coltrane and Red Garland or should we consider the second that featured players like Herbie Hancock and Wayne Shorter? Let's not forget the orchestras of Duke Ellington or Benny Goodman. Let's not forget groups like Booker T. & the M.G.'s who not only had a solid career of their own but were the house band for Stax records and being the house band allowed them to record with great acts like Wilson Pickett and Otis Redding.

Who is the Greatest American Band?

Who else is there to consider? I don't know but the search and discovery is well worth it.

Baseball: 2011 Prediction

Someone once said that the three greatest things America ever invented were the Constitution, Jazz and Baseball. I have a hard time not agreeing with any of this.

I love the game of baseball. Though due to personal reasons like moving to the opposite end of the country, I have not followed spring training as much as I would like but here we go with some predictions.

American League

Central Winner - Chicago White Sox. I picked them last year and I was wrong. It's really up in the air who wins this division

West Winner - Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I don't think Texas can repeat the magic.

East Winner - New York Yankees. Now that the Rays will suck and even though Boston reloaded, the Yankees have one more year of magic in them.

Wild Card Winner - Boston Red Sox. I think Becket and Lackey are done but the team has so much depth that will propel them into the playoffs where the offense will catch fire.

National League

East Winner - Atlanta Braves. I picked them last year and I was wrong. I think they shock everybody.

West Winner - San Francisco Giants. I think they have a young enough team with enough wild and cooky guys that they won't lose their edge.

Central Winner - Cincinnati Reds. Every other team in the division sucks.

Wild Card Winner - Philadelphia Phillies. Pitching will help a struggling offense.


But who wins in the playoffs?????

Well pitching is what wins in the playoffs, that and key hits during key situations. So... In the American League, I foresee the Angels playing the Red Sox for the American League Pennant and the Giants against the Phillies for the National League Pennant.

the World Series will be the Red Sox versus the Phillies, with Red Sox winning. (that is my heart speaking)

My mind thinks it will be the Giants versus the Yankess but fuck that.

Sleeper teams. The Oakland Athletics and the Milwaukee Brewers. Watch out!

another great year ahead. I love this game and like Ernie Banks would say, "let's play two."

Breast Saves Woman from Snake

In an attempt to encourage more sexiest behavior (insert evil laugh) I share with you this story.

According to my local radio station, theSun.co.uk, as well as other media outlets a model was filmed playing with a tame snake until she acts clumsily, lets go of the head and in a moment of carelessness and absolute hilarity the snake attacks her surgically enhanced boob.

What happens next is unbelievable but true with a lesson all women should learn. The woman would be fine. She survived the snake's onslaught with a trip to the emergency room and a tetanus shot. The snake did not survive the silicone poisoning.

Woman Vs. Nature? Woman. Or at least science.

Thank you science for body enhancement. Let this be a lesson to all women before playing with snakes. Don't be stupid and if you are stupid then get fake breasts first.

thank you and goodnight.

a link. enjoy

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3466265/Snake-dies-after-biting-girls-breast.html

Paper Towels. There Must Be Paper Towels

I hate when I walk into a bathroom, use the toilet, wash my hands (yes, I wash my hands) and there are no paper towels.

Hand dryers are WORTHLESS! I won't get into how sanitary (?) they are or how I am saving the planet by using them (?) or how they are never ever hot enough to dry anything. They are simply a waste. A waste I say.

Paper Towels. There must be paper towels! I don't want a hand dryer. I don't want that hand towel thing that hangs like wet laundry. What is that? you know it looks like a paper dispenser with a cloth towel that wraps in itself. I don't know. Explaining it just gets me all flustered. I hate it!

I need paper towels. Am I killing trees. Yes? I'll start to make an effort to try to plant more trees. I know that last sentence seems like progressive procrastination but come on, give me a break, I'm worried about hygiene.

Studies show that the dirtiest, most germ populated area of the the bathroom is the door handle. This is less scary when the bathroom exit involves a push door. I can open a push door with my foot but what if it is a pull door, a pull door with a handle or worse, a pull door with a handle that must be turned to open? In the worst scenario, I have to grab the hands twist it for long enough to open the door with a enough effort to get it open and catch the door with my foot. A paper towel eliminates some if not most of this fear. Okay, it eliminates a lot of this fear.

Bathroom door handles are dirty. I can say for a fact that they are dirty. You don't have to be a genius to discover this simple fact. An easy examination of any male bathroom would allow you to realize that 73% of men don't wash their hands. Yes, i know shocking. It is has been a fantasy of mine go to a hip place and spend a significant time in the bathroom only to record those that do and do not wash their hands and rat them out publicly. Unfortunately I have the bravery of Scooby Doo, the tact of Inspector Gadget and fighting skill of Dark Wing Duck which doesn't allow proper defense to ward off big and scary dudes. So that fantasy will remain a fantasy. By the way, a disclaimer - I have no way to prove that 73% figure. Of the remaining 27% that do wash their hands, 11% don't use soap or wash for more than 10 seconds. My goodness! With all these factors, why in the hell would you want to touch a bathroom door handle. Why in the hell would you want to shake hands with anyone? Ugh, I am scaring myself.

Dudes, stop being so rude and disgusting and wash your hands. I don't want to imagine what happens in the ladies room. No, imagination closed. The only good thing about the AH1N1 paranoia is that at least some people were and are willing to wash their hands more often or carry Purell. More and more places now have Purell stations for easy hand sanitizing and I am all for it. I am for forward progress. I am pro productivity. Hit me with your best shot! Sorry, I was feeling electric.

Paper Towels please. Save my sanity.

doesn't that feel good.

thank you and goodnight.

Radio Radio !!!

So I am driving west and unfortunately my CD player (yes, CD player) is on the fritz. I am driving thru Indianapolis combing through channels. I get stuck on a some classic rock classic and then another. So I bite. I even listen to the babble by the Disc Jockey's for a second or two.

I'm amused. I typically don't listen to the radio. Why? Because it sucks and after listening to this station my opinion won't change. But again my CD Player, (yes, CD player) was on the fritz. So they go back to the music and I am not annoyed or frustrated by the choices. It's typical Top 40 hits that you'd expect from a soft rock station. Then the babble comes back.

I don't know their names but I do know it was a man and woman (helpful right?) that began talking about the Grammy's. The guy casually joked about how surprising it was that Justin Beiber did not win the Best New Artist Award. This kind of joke is not offensive to me. The lady admits here amazement towards the Grammy's then the guy says that such things can be expected by the Grammy's because they like to shock people with who gets the awards even giving the Album of the Year honors to a band nobody has heard of. Really? Really?

Well I have heard of them and so have a lot of other people. If you don't believe me, Well it was #1 on NPR's Top Albums of 2010. It was #3 on Spin Magazine's list, #4 for Rolling Stone and # 11 on Pitchfork Media. So clearly some people know about this album and those people are singing it's praise. Maybe he was joking but I don't think so. Maybe he was just being a lazy and ignorant douche bag... Ding Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner !

Why say such harsh things? Well because either he thinks awards and award shows should only be for popular artists or maybe he thinks that just because he hasn't heard of the band that they aren't any good. In either case, he is an asshole. I mean it is not like he works for a radio station and cannot take a little time out of his day to find or listen to new music.... oh wait, he does work for a radio station and maybe he is just lazy or ignorant.

I was turned off by this and tried desperately to make my CD player work again. Thankfully, it did. This is just another example of blind ignorance that should not go unchecked. Check yourself Indianapolis 105.7. because you suck !

This is Why the Black Eyed Peas Suck

This just in - Reports from various strangers and friends all over the country convey disgust over the hugely annoying and untalented performance by the Black Eyed Peas during the Super Bowl halftime show are still coming in. It's Wednesday and still I hear the rumble and grumble of people complaining about how bad the show was.

So the halftime show was bad. Let me ask something... Did you really expect it to be that good. Sure, last year The Who were tremendously disappointing. Egh, The Who sucked it last year, so the NFL got tired of all the classic rock groups and decided to reach to the youth of America. Not a bad idea. After all the Black Eyed Peas did a fairly decent job of providing entertainment to all who attended the World Cup Ceremonial concert last summer. So why not get a pop group that is not offensive and plays anthem like pop/hip hop/dance songs that get people riled up? Sounds like a good plan.

So why hate on the Black Eyed Peas? Why kick them when they seem down? Why? Well in all fairness this hatred of mine started before the Super Bowl performance. It started last week while I was in my local Best Buy and I saw a display for the new Black Eyed Peas album. It was a cheap cardboard display that also featured the group's previous efforts, except for their debut album and their second album. Why hating on your first two records BEP? In fact if you go to any record store, you cannot find their first two albums at all. Most people don't even know of the first two albums. Most people don't know that Fergie, the leggy, fake dirty blonde in the group wasn't even a member of the group till their third release Elephunk in 2003.

Yes, Fergie was not an original member of the group. Her arrival coincides with the groups "selling out" phase. Yeah, fuck the quotations. They sold out.

Reason #1 to hate the Black Eyed Peas - THEY SOLD OUT !

Originally the group was comprised of it's three hip hop foot stompers, Will.I.Am., Taboo, and Apl.De.Ap. The group came out when popular hip hop music celebrated bling over substance, nonsensical lyrics over poetics, violence and sex over kicking it and good times. Maybe the same could be said about hip hop throughout it's history but that is not true. Only an idiot would say that and I'm not that idiot. The Black Eyed Peas not only stood against the stereotype that was late 90's hip hop but made fun of it. They called out Diddy (back then Puff Daddy) not only claiming that his music was bad but so was his dancing and fashion. BEP celebrated head bobbing rap that could make your feet twist and expand your mind. Songs like "Karma" from their 1998 debut Behind the Front are a clean cut example of this. Now, I'm not suggesting that the Black Eyed Peas were going to be the next Tribe Called Quest or De La Soul but it is sad that after two albums they stopped trying.

It's also no coincidence that notable underground or conscience hip hop stars like Mos Def, De La Soul, Chali 2na and others were on hand for the groups second effort, 2000's Bridging the Gap. In the group's latest incarnation, no illustrious hip hop stars to be found. It's sad.

Reason #2 to hate the Black Eyed Peas - Talent or the lack of.

If the Super Bowl performance is any indication of it, the Black Eyed Peas really don't have any talent. I'll admit, Will.I.Am the leading member of the group has worked with a variety of musical greats including Sergio Mendes, Carlos Santana, John Legend, U2, Nas and Usher. He has been cutting his chops in the music business since he was a teenager in the early 90's. and he does have a knack for a catchy hook. I am not doubting Will.I.Am's talent but his strength is as a producer not an MC or performer. Fergie seems like a product of the a good production studio. Her performance during the super bowl was either the result of bad audio mixing or lack of talent and vocal flexibility. Or maybe she had a cold. Did anyone notice or wonder why Fergie, a California native tried to come off as if she was from Brooklyn? What do the other two members of the group do? I have no idea. The other two shout the chorus, they occasionally say a line here or there and let's face it, the rhymes are simple and the flow is amateur... I am not that hip but I can do that.

Insults aside. I am not sure why people would want to see a concert in which the rappers/MC's are not very good at rapping, they can't sing, they can't dance and they don't or didn't play any instruments. Is it really that exciting to see 4 people standing around simply waving their arms without displaying any serious or credible vocal talent? I don't think so. Thank goodness for the glittery lights of the stage.

In the end, some groups are great live acts as their albums can never equally the intensity, energy and vitality that their concerts create. Some groups are great studio acts because they create powerhouse albums that are adored for generations but that sound, big or small is never captured live. Both are unfortunate and the great acts are the bands, musicians, or groups that succeed at both. It seems like the Black Eyed Peas fit in that category of making pop hits in the studio that don't come off any different on stage than hitting the play button on your I-Pod. Wait, I take that back, the I-Pod probably sounds better.

2010 - A Year In Music and Top 10 List Part 2

The Top 10!!!

Consolation Prize - Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot... The Son of Chico Dusty

After so many years of working on this record it just had to be good, right? Well that sort of logic is not always applicable. It is funny that there seemed to be a preconceived notion that this album wouldn't be that good or wouldn't be as good as an album done by Andre 3000. When you think about it, such a notion is just silly. Listen to the Speakerboxxx, Big Boi's contribution to the hit double album Speakerboxxx/The Love Below and you will hear an album that may not have to top 40 singles that The Love Below had but was a fantastic hip hop ride to Andre 3000's more ambitious but sometimes unbalanced work. Sir Lucious Left Foot... The Son of Chico Dusty sounds a bit like an Outkast album but is also a response, reaction and improvement on the current state of hip hop. Hard to remember a hip hop record that was this fun and hip then easily converts to smart and philosophical and back again with ease. With a killer production team that includes Lil' Jon, Andre 3000 and others this album was well worth the wait.

10. Delorean - Subiza

Electronic music can often be overrun by club ambitions. They have 9 minute tracks, can be a bit repetitive, and promote a certain type of escapism where one can throw hands in the air and party like you just don't care. Subiza is enjoyable because it is accessible while still containing certain Balearic qualities. Ibiza is at the heart of this record with it's trance like rhythms and piano led hooks. Subiza is simply a wonderful. Subiza might be the perfect summer record that isn't a reggae record. It is also a pretty good driving record. With the breezy vocals, piano hooks that come right out of the early 90's, chimes, bells and whistles, a sample here and there, big but simple bass booms, Subiza is a fun, fun, fun record that is suitable for any rave, on or off the beach. Preferably on the beach.

9. Sleigh Bells - Treats

Is it pop music if there are really aggressive guitars and drums, a combination of booty shake and marching band, with angelic vocals? It seems a little calculated, possibly the miracle of great studio work but Treats is a fascinating record. This noise pop, dance punk duo from Brooklyn compose frantic noise grounded with sweet vocals in around 2 minutes. The juxtaposition of the vocals and music creates an effect like no other in music today. Derek Miller is responsible for the sound and Alexis Krauss is in charge of the vocals. It can be an off putting record or it can be a sing a long record that will later cause soreness in your neck from the crazy head knocking you've done. I tend to side with the latter. Plus any band willing to sample Parliment for the track "Rill Rill" is A-okay with me!

8. The Roots - How I Got Over

How are The Roots not considered the hardest working Band in America? They are are the house band for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and are routinely the best part of the program. They released their own album How I Got Over and then a couple of months later released an album with John Legend featuring cover songs of soul and funk classics from Nina Simone, Donny Hathaway and Marvin Gaye. The played the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear. They also made appearances across the country for various concerts and festivals. Questlove is also a mad fiend on the twitter feed. Not to be forgotten is how good How I Got Over is... it's superb. Black Thought sadly continues to be one of the most underrated MCs ever. He displays a somber quality on tracks like "Dear God 2.0" and defiant on the title track and "The Fire." On the album Phonte and Blu contribute seamlessly to The Roots family, while Joanna Newsom's contribution to "Right On," helps create bounciest Roots track since the Things Fall Apart days. For their 11th album and who makes great albums for their 11th? Not many. Here, The Roots made their best album since Phrenology and most consistent album since Things Fall Apart. The hardest working band in America doesn't sound worn down but tighter than ever!

7. Surfer Blood - Astro Coast

This outfit from West Palm Beach, Florida sounds like a combination of the Beach Boys, 13th Floor Elevators and 90's rock. The track "Swim" that generated all the hype in the beginning of the year, sounds like a track that would have gotten the Buzz Worthy nod from an early 90's MTV station that still played music videos. Astro Coast is a great guitar record. It's a great guitar record because it relies on the guitar to create most if not all the hooks for the album. The surf ready "Take It Easy," the 50's guitar lick of "Catholic Pagans," and post punk finger picking of "Harmonix," work to varying degrees but all successful. What also helps are the additional elements of keyboards and additional percussion to certain songs adding a different twist to certain songs. For example, the Cure like synths at the end of "Floating Vibes," the flute and additional percussion in "Twin Peaks" create a fuller and more playful sound to Surfer Blood's songs concerning the confusion of romance, friendship and the future.

6. Beach House - Teen Dream

This dream pop outfit from Baltimore does an impeccable job of seeming like a very cold distant record while at the same time being a warm, comfortable and heart broken. The looming keyboards that at times sound as lonely as a dial tone are a perfect match for Victoria Legrand's vocals. Legrand's voice doesn't sound like Nico, Mazzy Star or Sade but it is just as magnetic. With those ladies, they could pull you in with the beauty of their voice. As if, instrumentation was/is almost unnecessary. That is not the case with this record. I am not suggesting that Alex Scally's music is worthless. The guitar pacing creates an atmosphere of forced enclosed contemplation on "Zebra," and "Silver Soul."Keyboards create a similar effect on, "Walk In the Park" and piano on "Lover of Mine." Do you ever replay thoughts in your mind, they never escape or you never express them clearly but eventually they build and build until your mind is ready to explore? That is Teen Dream.

5. Mavis Staples - You're Not Alone

Even though Mavis will be 72 this summer, she has not lost command of her voice. In 2007, she worked with Ry Cooder on We'll Never Turn Back, an album full of civil rights anthems that were given new meaning during the Bush-era politics. On her current album, Jeff Tweedy is at the helm to rework some of Pops Staples gospel classics, along with John Fogerty, Randy Newman classics, a few traditionals and possibly the most beautiful song of the year as the title track, written by Tweedy. "You're Not Alone" is such a beautiful song that is inspirational and comforting but confronting. Every year it seems like a legend makes a record that is well made and thoughtful. This year Mavis Staples made that record. It isn't going to flip the country, blues, folk, gospel or soul world upside down but applause should be given for making a dam good album. You're Not Alone is a testament to the human condition and spirit that pulls us through the very hard times we are facing.

4. Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

Why isn't Damon Albarn discussed as a musical genius? Out of all his contemporaries... the Gallagher brothers, Jarvis Cocker, Thom Yorke and several other blokes don't have the legacy Albarn has. The Gorillaz seemed like a cute little side project that grew into something more and should be talked as the most intriguing musical project of the past decade. Let's not forget the other side projects and all the years as the head of Blur. Now the Gorillaz are finally coming into their own. The Gorillaz first album was produced by Dan the Automater and it sounded like it. The second by DangerMouse and it sounded like it. For Plastic Beach Albarn took charge of the production and their sound is becoming more and more distinct. Here they combine the dub, indie hip hop experiments of the first record, the spaghetti western samples and trip hop of the second album, and explore Krautrock and electro-funk for the third. This time around the hip hop segments gel with greater fluidity than previously on the first two albums. It also worth noting that with all the guest stars on each Gorillaz album, Albarn composed the best Gorillaz song solely for himself. "On Melancholy Hill," is just a prime example of Albarn somber tone over zippy keyboards and catchy harmonies. These songs range from beautiful, "Cloud of Unknowing," to frantic, "Glitter Freeze" or somewhere in between with, "Empire Ants." No other record this year has as much range.

3. LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening

Thank goodness James Murphy put to rest the notion that this would be their last album. Thank goodness! This Is Happening has all the trappings that the last LCD Soundsystem explored such as NYC club culture, Bowie/Eno influence and punk-funk. We do get some new twists on this record such as the conga drum monologue beginning of "Dance Yrself Clean." Depeche Mode wishes they could write a song like, "I Can Change" and the Devo touches on "Drunk Girls" is just euphoric. On this album Murphy seems perplexed by his fame, the lack of fame, the pressures to produce a hit record, and the stance his band has on the musical landscape. Murphy has a knack for song crafting and his vocal flexibility allows him to not only play with genre but mimic Bowie's vocal styling on "All I Want" or sound like an American Shaun Ryder. It seems that with little doubt Murphy can mimic whatever vocal styling he so chooses. From cagey whisper to brooding vocal, to high pitch yelp and spoken word. Murphy is like the master of ceremonies on each album and each album a clear image of what fascinates, disturbs and motivates him.

2. Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid

Thematically, it's a dystopia. Musically it's Prince, Outkast, trip-hop, electro, with 60's pop and soul. Monae looks like some 80's soul temptress with a fixation on 30s/40s big band posterity. She is a vivacious performer that can move like James Brown. With a vastly underrated voice, Monae's record is inspired by science fiction cinema as much as it's inspired by Prince's Sign 'O' The Times. The ArchAndroid is part 2 of a 3 part series. A huge concept that includes an Ep released last year and a highly anticipated future release. The album almost feels like a soundtrack to elaborate science fiction musical ripe with action sequences, a party, and balladry. Her debut album clearly separates her from the pack, not simply because of her ambition but because it's really fucking good.

1. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Never mind that "Power," "Runaway," "Monster," "All the Lights," have the capability of being classics. Yes, classics. Not just for 2010 but in more general terms as from today to who knows when and then again and again. Kanye West might be an ass but if their were less assholes making music we'd be missing out on a lot of great music over the history of time. I don't think anyone can examine the demons within with the same insight, humor, craftsmanship, outrage and admiration as West. West was agitated by the moderate response to his experimental 808's and Heartbreak album. On that record he tried to sing but he can't really sing, the music composition was a bit flat and frankly, where was all the experimentation? Even though West is back to rapping and not singing, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is more of a dare than anything West has ever done before. Conflict runs throughout this album, the loss of innocence, societal pressures and many faces of Kanye at war with one another, making for great theater and a fantastic album.