You Are What You Read (On the Toilet?)

There are many formulas for which you or I can casually observe someone and decode what kind of person they are. Your poker face, what you eat, what shoes you wear or who your friends are can say a lot about a person. Today I examine something I truly believe... You are what you read on the toilet.

Many already subscribe to the notion that you are what you read but I would like to break it down a bit further. What you read on the toilet says a lot about the type of person you are. Reading is very important and unfortunately in the USA there are sad statistics that show people don't read very much at all or don't know how to read. Statistics show that those who can read, choose not to read while those who can't read continue to struggle without help or the desire to change. Even with this information I choose to write a blog. Silly me.

I don't read as much as I should. My father reads a book every couple of days. I have friends that read books every day or two and I even have friends that will read books within a few hours. I am a summer reader which means I enjoy reading while sitting by the pool. During the winter, lazy snow filled sundays is when I find a book of interest and do nothing but read. A book per week would be a generous estimate but I am much better than the national statistics. Thank goodness.

A majority of my reading is done while I sit on the toilet. I admit it. Please don't be disgusted until you listen to my argument or be disgusted but still read the argument. Like Larry David in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, I have started sitting on the toilet to read while performing much of my business. I won't get into too much detail but by sitting on the toilet to urinate I've increased my sitting on the toilet by a large percentage. I have a team coming up with some figures. While on the toilet I have a little more time to read an article in the paper or in a magazine. I am not a fast reader by any means so books with short chapters or books like the Intellectual Devotional series are perfect for toilet reading. The Intellectual Devotional book series are books of general knowledge, each book with a certain theme with each page focussed on a particular topic. I don't know about you or how long it typically takes for your business to take place but while you pee you might be able to read a page or two about a variety of topics.

For me, I like my toilet to be surrounded with a wide variety of knowledge. I like a plethora of books to surround my bathroom. I never know what type of personal growth I'd like to explore while doing what natured intended either. History, sports, music, life, philosophy surround my toilet. I purchased a shelf for my toilet just so I would have a resting place for my books. Books and magazines can take quite a lot of counter space so a shelf was needed. I mean after all you can only put so much on the toilet tank.

My current toilet literature.

Truffuat by Antoine de Baecque and Serge Toubiana

The Mysterious Montague by Leigh Montville

Mockingbird With Me Luck by Chalres Bukowski

The Books of Basketball by Bill Simmons

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

The Architecture of Happiness by Alain De Boton

The Diving Bell and Butterfly by Jean Dominique Bauby

On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

Etiquette for Men By G.R.M Deveroux

magazine - WaxPoetics issues 32-37, 39-42

magazine - Poetry issue April 2010

Bla Bla 600 Incredibly Useless Facts by Fredrik Colting

I've been meaning to switch some things up. Bring in a new starting line up to my toilet literature series. I recently purchased the Clash by the Clash. It's a large coffee table book on one of my favorite bands but I found it a bit awkward to hold a large book with a heavier weight on my lap during business time. I am not saying a large and heavy book is impossible or not worth pursuing but what happens if you need to stretch, use the book as a fly swatter, or if your knees start to buckle or if your legs were to fall asleep. I tried it out but I think a smaller the book allows you greater mobility and mobility is key on a toilet. Plus the cheap shelf posing as a metal shelf might not be able to handle a heavy book.

Either way, what you read says a lot about you. What you read on the toilet can say even more. What do you think about literature that surrounds my toilet? I'd like to think it screams "man of intrigue and mystery" or "international jet-setter of cool and ease." It probably says neither of those things. I'd even settle for, "profound but silly." Is all of this a little superficial? It might be but I'd feel a little bit bad or even feel like a lousy host if you came to my house, sat on my toilet and the option of a magazine or book was not made available to you. I don't know about you but that's how I would feel. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time.

till next time.

ps. yes I know. My trash can is small and needs to be emptied.

Bad Things Happen in 3 - Cleveland's Early July Woes

On July 8th Lebron James made a humiliating and public statement called, "the Decision."This hour program focused on his future as a basketball star in which James decided to leave Cleveland and his near by home of Akron, Ohio. Akron is less than 40 miles from Cleveland so locals took his departure personally, as they should have. The locals have followed Lebron James since middle school and Cleveland Cavalier fans could only wait anxiously to see if they could ever have the chance of landing the young superstar. A few years later, with a little bit of luck, the Cavaliers landed their star, gave him everything he wanted and seven years after that, he publicly embarrasses Cleveland by suggesting the team, the organization and the city are not good enough.

I think it is easy for those on the outside to agree with James about leaving. I think it is impossible for those in Cleveland and in Ohio to see this as anything but insulting and heart shattering.

Cleveland didn't just lose James but within the next week the city would mourn the death of two other great men. Cleveland also lost writer Harvey Pekar and New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner. The departure of James along with the passing of Pekar and Steinbrenner do nothing but bring a great sadness to many within Cleveland's borders and beyond.

George Steinbrenner was a Cleveland area native. Before the Yankees, George made a name for himself with the Great Lakes Shipping Company. He also owned an ABL (American Basketball League) team, the Cleveland Pipers. Steinbrenner also made an attempt to purchase the Cleveland Indians but was rejected. What success the Indians could have had is unknown. Would the Indians have won 7 World Series in the past 37 years? Probably not, but winning one would have been better than the none they have won without Steinbrenner.

George is just one of many Ohioans to find success outside of Ohio but he never left his roots, often returning to the Columbus, Ohio for the annual OSU vs. Michigan game. Mr. Steinbrenner was a graduate student at OSU and it's good to know that after his success he would still return to celebrate one of sports great rivalries. A funny story I had heard was that one year all the hotels were booked for the rivalry game and George had no place to stay, so the next year George built his own hotel and kept the top floor suite to himself. The Yankees triple-A ball club was also based in Columbus. The Columbus Clippers is where notable Yankees got their start including Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Alfonso Soriano, Mariano Rivera and Don Mattingly.

The Yankees flourished under his control and Steinbrenner revolutionized free agency. It is ironic, a twisted piece of fate or something like that, that the system of paying athletes outrageous amounts, the system Steinbrenner revolutionized would be the framework for James' departure. George Steinbrenner changed sports, for good and bad... the debate continues. I think it goes without saying that he was a man you'd want to own your sports local team because he would have done whatever it takes to win.

Steinbrenner is recognizable to many Americans because of his success on and off the field, also because of a recurring character on the hit show Seinfeld. Harvey Pekar was not nearly as famous with the American public. Harvey Pekar was a mild mannered file clerk by day and an alternative comic book writer genius on the side. He also was a music critic. Mr. Pekar became more recognizable in 2003 because of the part autobiography, part documentary film based on his comics and his life. The comic, American Splendor and film of the same name helped elevate alternative comics to a larger audience. His comics focused more on the struggles of the average person with himself as the central figure. Pekar was able to express himself about his job at a local veterans hospital, the struggles of marriage or what other ramblings happened within his mind.

I was first introduced to Harvey Pekar as a teenager. I grew up reading comics but most about super dudes with super power and super chicks with super bodies and super powers. In high school my father introduced me to an American Splendor comic. My father was a doctor for the VA hospitals in the Cleveland area for around 20 years and the two had become casual friends that would on occasion discuss Latin jazz. They were never close friends but I do have a signed copy of an American Splendor graphic novel with an inscription to my father that reads, "To Luis, Thanks for the music recommendations." Years later I would meet Mr. Pekar at the OSU campus in Columbus, Ohio. After a discussion on comics he signed my copy of his latest graphic novel, the Quitter. I asked him if he remembered my father. He asked for my name, he asked for my father's name and after a brief pause he said, "Yes I remember, your father is a smart man." Maybe Pekar didn't remember him but it was enough to put a smile on my face then and even now.

While talking with my father about Pekar today, my father and I were most impressed by Pekar's humility. He always wrote about normal daily life and even after the success of his comic, several appearances on David Letterman and a critically acclaimed film, Pekar never stop writing about what he wanted to write about nor did he ever stop working at the hospital as a file clerk. As someone on the radio noted, after all the success Pekar had, maybe the greatest thing he did for Cleveland was never leaving her because he never wanted to.

Lebron James will be missed without question and possibly without parallel but maybe just maybe, the loss of Steinbrenner and Pekar are just as hollowing. I often have to defend Ohio and Ohioans when traveling elsewhere. People forget what great things have come from Ohio like the birth of flight or even Victoria's Secret. Great American athletes like Jack Nicklaus and Lebron James are from Ohio. Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and is from Ohio. In fact, Ohio has had more astronauts walk on the moon than any other state. Ohio has also produced the most Presidents behind the state of Virginia. If anything Virginia was cheating having 4 of the first 5 Presidents and by the time Ohio became a state our third President Thomas Jefferson was already in the White House. What am I saying? Virginia had a jump start.

I love Ohio very much. I have known many great men and women in this state. It is the state of my childhood. I have many fond memories of this place. Memories that I carry with me where ever I go. It is a shame that so many look down upon it but for someone like myself, it will always be home.






Side note. Even though Cleveland is about 120 miles away from Columbus, while writing this blog Columbus radio personality John Andrew "Andyman" Davis drowned while on vacation in Michigan. Another blow to Ohio, also adding proof that nothing good happens when you go to Michigan. (it's a rivalry thing... Mr. Steinbrenner would understand)

"Andyman" was a local dj for the indie radio channel CD101. Every year the "Andyman-a-thon" would be a 48 hour special in which "Andyman" would stay on the air for 48 hours straight, trying to raise money for local kid's charities. His passing is nothing but sad.

My Two Cents - BP, the Oil Disaster and What has Happened to Our Anger

BP caused an oil spill in the gulf. This is not new news unless you have been living under a rock for the past several months.

I am not really here to debate what could have been done, what should be done, who is to blame and why this is happening.

I really don't have concrete answers except for this...

BP is to blame. I spill a glass of water, it's my fault not the glass. I break a window, it's my fault not the brick for being so hard that when colliding with the window, the window shatters. BP is to blame for the oil disaster. Yes, it is a disaster. The constant recognition of this disaster as a "spill" is nothing but disrespect for the businesses losing money, the animals dying and mother earth getting her faced punched in.

I am not going to blame the current administration, the previous administration or the ocean for having waves and currents, the ocean for being deep or oil for being difficult to obtain. I am going to blame BP and some others.

What I want to know is and some others have often wondered... Where is all the anger? Where is all the sympathy? Where is all the aid? Where are all the relief concerts and fundraising specials? Where are all the commercials in between your favorite programs asking for donations or community service to help save animals, businesses and the people being ruined by this oil disaster?

The only thing close to this that I see is a savvy marketing campaign by BP displaying their outreach to local communities affected by their blunder. Some commercials with some BP accountants casually expressing their concern, sitting along the gulf coast explaining how important his or her job is because they are helping the businesses that have lost so much from this disaster. BP should be helping those business and paying those claims.

But, where is all our anger?

Some of it has been directed towards the current administration. Some of it directed towards the previous administration. Some of it has been directed towards BP and some of it has been directed towards local vendors. The anger aimed towards local vendors has been label as "misguided" because it only hurts local businesses and has little effect on BP. At the same time, I haven't filled my gas tank at any local BP stations as a symbol of my disgust but also because I don't know what else to do. Emailing my local government official seems pointless. Sending an angry letter to BP while they burn money seems foolish. How should I direct my anger?

Maybe some of our anger should be directed at ourselves. Maybe we aren't angry or as angry as we should be because we need this oil. We are well versed in the risks of our dependence on oil and sadly accept the ugly truth that if you want an omelet you have to break some eggs. We should be angry at ourselves. Maybe this disaster could have been diverted if we as a civilization weren't so dependent on oil and more invested in cleaner energy technologies. Unfortunately we aren't and with this disaster hopefully coming to a close we are still slow to arrive towards cleaner and more efficient energy solutions.

We aren't going to get rid of SUV's. We haven't come close to an automobile that can achieve 100 miles to the gallon. We are addicted to air conditioning and central heating. We love the leisure oil can offer our lives. We need more and more and as our need grows and grows our comfort level must match that need. Change is difficult but maybe instead of blaming BP we should blame ourselves and our childish resistance to change. Change must come and hopefully another disaster won't occur before we accept that.