goodbye 2009. goodbye decade. goodbye yesterday. Onward to 2010. Onward to today and tomorrow!

Happy New Year!

I am sort of confused on how to sum up 2009. The final year of a wacky decade and a rather frustrating year at that. I started the decade in Florida to move to Ohio to eventually move to Arkansas then back to Ohio with plans to possibly move to Austin, Chicago or southern California. In this decade I have had a four year relationship that was similar to the decade, up and down with it ultimately ending. I graduated high school and college but have little to show for it. I have had jobs, promoted and fired. I have traveled and I have stayed home. I have crazy stories and stories not worth writing about. I feel sad and relieved by the simple fact that my greatest achievement in the past ten years is that I am alive, I have my family and friends, and that I have not given up yet. I don't know whether or not to look down upon this idea with frustration or to hold my head high and acknowledge that things could be much worse.

I started this blog almost 2 years ago and I am not famous for it or anything of the sort. I ponder, I type and I express feelings that rattle in my noggin. I could go on and fuss about the decade or this past year but I won't. This past year was hard. I have a hard time remembering when the last easy year came. Many make resolutions for the next year. Many hope that the next year will be better. Many wish to explore the possibilities of what will come around the next corner, or on the next train in to the station or simply what happens the next day. I try to resist resolutions, or hopes or even the moments of contemplation for what lies ahead because it seems rather pointless. I do not know what to do but I simply try to do the best I can with what I've got. I can only plan so much. I can only want so much. I can only hope for so much. My life is vastly different than I had hoped 10, 5 and even 1 year ago. I have made plans and many of them dashed. I have had hopes with many of them crushed. I have wanted much and have been neglected. It is easy to look down at this life and call it a failure but I won't do that. I have a loving family. I have friends. I have a bit of happiness and hope that shines through thick feelings of despair. Not all is lost and at times when things do not go your way it is easy to lose sight of all the good that surrounds you. Sure, I have a lot to be angry about but there is just as much that pleases me, if not more.

with that in mind... I plan to continue writing in this blog. I enjoy it. No one reads it but it allows me to express myself in some way. I plan to double the output of the previous year or at least try for one upload per week. I plan to start a second blog that focuses on my true love, the cinema. I hope to dish out my opinions on fame, stupid t-shirts, award ceremonies, travel, fashion, douche bags (the persona not the cleaning product), mix cd's, baseball, doughnuts, and much more. There isn't much that I don't want to tackle. I hope you will come along with me.

In the following week be sure to check this blog out because I will be posting my highly anticipated best music of 2009 blog as well as an exploration on how t-shirts have gone wrong.


thanks you for reading and good day or night.