This weekend a child hood friend is getting married, for the first and hopefully the only time. My friend, who I have known for over 20 years, is about to take the great step of devotion. It is also a great step of love and maturity but for some reason I choose to put devotion first instead of love.
As time passes I wonder if marriage is in the cards for me. Something I rarely thought about at the age of 20 but now at the age of 25 I find myself for some reason thinking about marriage and a family life more often. At 20 years old I was not ready for marriage and much could be said about me at my current age.
Am I thinking about marriage because many of my childhood, high school and college friends are making the big step towards a life I so desire? There is also a growing population of friends who are married and have been married for quite some time. Yes, I am single and I have single friends and enjoy my life but I have never let go of the illusion and the possible reality that marriage, a happy marriage is true bliss. To find someone that believes in you, pushes you, wants you, needs and cares for you is a gift unlike any other. I have my own ideas of what a true and wonderful wife would be like and some might share these sentiments while others not. I simply long for a good friend, the best of friends. I have been accused of being a romantic but failing to live up to the title and I still believe in many if not all of the romantic ideals of marriage.
A year ago, I thought I would be taking steps towards marriage and a life I so desperately wanted. I had, who I thought was the right girl. I had my life in order, more so than it had ever been and did I mention I had the right girl? In the end it is who you marry that truly matters and why you choose to marry. Things were lining up for ol’ Alejo Ramirez. But time passes and the right girl was not the right girl at all and marriage hopes and proposals became nothing more than a fantasy and the realities of other friends, enemies, and former lovers. I even wrote a rough draft of wedding vows before the notion of marriage had even been muttered. Sad - yeah, kind of.
It is amazing how life changes. Those unexpected turns down the road of life and the jabs life throws at you. I am man that is willing to wait till the time is right, the girl is right and until I am ready for marriage but that doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t filled with a small dose of jealousy or a gigantic ocean of it.
In a day and age when many marriages end in divorce, something like 57% I can do nothing but admire anyone who decides that one person is the person for the rest of their life. They do not make that decision once or twice, as in the day of the proposal or the day of their vows but they will make that decision (hopefully) every day for the rest of their lives.
I cannot give advice about what makes a good marriage because I am not married and as clichéd as this might sound, maybe each marriage is like an individual snowflake or the drops of rain that fall on your bare skin. Marriage is quite simply, unique.
I wish my friend the best. My buddy Dave is a truly good person. I think we tend to throw out too many different adjectives at the people we know and like… funny, sweet, ridiculous, intelligent, sexy, whatever. I simply want to say that my friend is a good man. Dave is a good man in a day and age when good, truly good people are hard to find. I don’t know if I need to say anything else except truly emphasize good in a day and age when any positive comes at a premium.
Goodluck Dave and Jennifer.
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